please don't die :: penny

Luke's gone. He already left. He's going to get himself killed and I didn't even get to say goodbye. Leia set me almost all the way across the room so I can only hear what's going on.

 None of any this is really his fault, but deep down, in my heart, I know somehow it is, so I'm going to kill Han Solo.

 "Stand by alert," a voice from the intercom says. "Death Star approaching. Estimated time to firing range: fifteen minutes."

 "All wings report in," the voice of the red leader says, over the intercom as well.

 "Red Ten, standing by.", "Red Seven, standing by."

 "Red Three, standing by." It's the voice of the man who Luke was talking to before I had left for the Falcon. I think his name is Biggs.

 "Red Six, standing by.", "Red Nine, standing by.", "Red Two, standing by.", "Red Eleven, standing by."

 And then Luke's voice comes over and I'm filled with about a thousand different emotions at once. "Red Five, standing by." God, he's going to get himself killed.

 "Is there any way for me to talk to him?" I ask Leia, completely ignoring everyone else in the room

 "Penny, I'm sorry, but I don't think that's a good idea," Leia answers, coming over and setting a hand on my shoulder. "That'll just distract him, and we want him to get out of there safe."

 "We're passing through their magnetic field!" The red leader says. "Hold tight!" There's a pause and then, "Switch your deflectors on!" Oh god, I can't sit here. Han and I should've left. "Double front!"

 "Leia, I need to talk to him," I demand. "I didn't even get to say goodbye earlier. I was going to wish him good luck. What if he dies?"

 I think that was probably the wrong thing to say because the princess gets a horrified look on her face. "He's not going to die."

 "But what if he does?" I need to shut up. "What if he dies and our last conversation was about me leaving even though I didn't actually leave? He's out there right now, thinking I left."

 "But what if he makes it out and when he gets back you can hug him tightly and never let him go?"

 She has a point. But I still say, "Just let me wish him good luck."

 "No."

 I hate that she's right. I just need to sit here and shut up. But instead, I say, "I hate you."

 "Good."

 We all sit there quietly, listening to it all go down when,

 "This is Red Five; I'm going in!" Luke.

 "No," I mutter. "See, Leia! He's going to get himself killed!"

 "This isn't all about you two, you know," she replies, shutting me up. "Luke is here to fight and save lives, not to drink coffee with you and talk about how you didn't leave."

 "Luke, pull up!" Biggs's voice says.  "Are you alright?" Oh no, oh no, oh no.

 "I got a little cooked, but I'm okay," Luke answers. Thank god, he's okay.

 "Please don't die," I mutter, hoping and praying he can somehow hear me even though I know it's impossible. I repeat it over and over again. And think back to when we were originally on the Death Star, trying to rescue Leia. I had run after Han to make sure he didn't get himself killed and Luke had called this after me. "Please don't die, please don't die, please don't die."

 "Luke, let me know when you're going in," the Red Leader's voice says over the speaker, causing me to snap back to the fight.

 "I'm on my way in now..."

 "Watch yourself! There's a lot of fire coming from the right side of that deflection tower."

 "I'm on it."

 I try and distract myself a bit by thinking about how well Luke pulls of the orange X-Wing Fighter jumpsuit, but it doesn't last very long as it causes me to almost immediately think about the fight going on and snap back to reality.

 "Leia, what's happening now?" I ask.

 "He's doing okay," she answers. "He's not dead."

 "Squad leaders," an officer working over a screen says into his headset, "we've picked up a new group of signals. Enemy fighters coming your way."

 Fuck. "Please don't die," I start muttering again.

 "My scopes negative," I hear Luke's voice say. "I don't see anything."

 "Keep up your visual scanning," the Red Leader replies. "With all this jamming, they'll be on top of you before your scope can pick them up." He pauses and then, "Biggs! You've picked one up...watch it!"

 "I can't see it!" Biggs's voice says. "Where is he?!" There's another pause. "He's on me tight, I can't shake him...I can't shake him."

 "Hang on Biggs, I'm coming in," Luke assures him. "Got him!" They're both okay, thank god.

 Everyone in the room begins to look more and more concerned. That's not good.

 Biggs begins to speak again, "Pull in! Luke...pull in!"

 And then Wedge, "Watch over your back Luke!" No, no, no, no, no. "Watch your back! Fighters above you! Coming in!"

 Leia gasps quietly, trying to hide it from me, and then Luke's voice says, "I'm hit, but not bad." No. "R2, see what you can do with it. Hang on back there."

 "Red Six..." the Red Leader begins, "can you see Red Five?" Leia stands frozen across the room.

 "There's a heavy fire zone on this side," Red Ten says. "Red Five, where are you?"

 And then I hear Luke say four words that make my heart drop to my feet; "I can't shake him!"

 "I'm on him, Luke!" Wedge assures him. He better be. "Hold on!"

 "Blast it!" Luke finally says. "Wedge, where are you?" There's a pause, and I swear my heart stops beating until, "Thanks, Wedge."

 "Good shooting, Wedge!" Biggs says, and I sigh, thankful that he's still okay. I feel like I need to meet him after all of this.

 "Red Leader...this is Gold Leader. We're starting out attack run."

 I stand up as everyone in the room groups closer around the computer but Leia shoots me a look that says she'll kill me if I come any closer, so I sit back down. I hate her.

 "I copy, Gold Leader. Move into position."

 "The exhaust post is locked and marked in!" Gold Leader says. "Switch power to front deflector shields...how many guns do you think, Gold Five?"

 "I'd say about twenty guns," Gold Five answers. "Some on the surface, some on the towers."

 And then the intercom voice starts talking; "Death Star will be in range in five minutes."

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i'm pretty sure this is exactly 1130 words of just penny being stressed out

anyways, AHH THIS IS BAD